If you haven't figured it out by now, I've decided to return to Shoutpost. I'm still going to post in my "other" blog, but... well, I just don't see why I can't have two, dammit! I feel so silly, making that grand announcement, only to go back on it completely. I feel a bit like Michael Jordan (you know, what with the whole "I'm retiring.. wait, no I'm not!" thing he did), except without all the money, talent, or endorsements, which makes my comparison to him completely off mark... but has made me feel a little down about my own life. Yay, dental school... and boo to fame and glory... (T_T)

Anyways, I went to my friend's graduation at UC, Riverside yesterday. It was probably one of the funniest ceremonies I've ever went to in my life.

To start off, the person they chose to sing for the opening and closing parts of the graduation was horrible. She was offkey on several notes, and had a very nasally voice. When she first started singing, the people in my group all glanced at each other, winced periodically, and kept flashing those uncomfortable "this is really terrible, but I'm going to try and be polite" grins. By the end, though, we were praying to all that was holy for this gruesome spectacle of vocal carnage to end.

After that, the ceremony speaker came up, a professor of something-or-other. This man sounded like a lecherous Arnold Schwarzenegger on pot (so basically, Arnold 35 years ago). I just couldn't stop laughing! What made it worse, was that nobody else in the ceremony (save the people that I came with) was laughing, so the commotion we were making was all the more noticeable.

There were a lot of other humorous moments, but those were the highlights of the evening. Sorry that I'm not going more in-depth about the ceremony, but I'm sure you guys really don't want to hear a play-by-play of a boring formal event... and I definitely don't want to write about it.

I think it's great when one of my friends graduates from school or receives some kind of award, but I've always hated graduations. I just can't stand them. In fact, I haven't participated in my own graduation ceremonies since junior high. Why haven't I walked? Well, to tell you the truth, I've never seen high school and undergraduate college as anything but milestones; they were merely steps I had to take in order to qualify for graduate school. Thus, it seemed a bit pointless to me to celebrate something, when I haven't actually accomplished anything yet. If undergraduate college was the highest I was ever going to go in my academic career, then you better believe that I'd be excited about walking, but it's not, so...... meh.

That doesn't stop me from going to my friends' ceremonies, though. I know my friends still consider it a big deal, so I'm more than happy to congratulate them on their success; doesn't mean I have to like ceremonies though.

I mean, why do they all have to have such long-winded, boring speeches? Is it all really necessary? We all came for only one thing, when you think about it: to see our friends or family members walk. I don't need to hear about how that particular college got two new buildings in the last two years, or how some professor I'll never meet discovered X number of exo-planets (this is what they talked about at the UCR graduation). I mean, what the hell are "exo-planets," anyways? I'm sure that kind of stuff is all shits and giggles for the dean of the university, but for us average Joes? Pointless and boring.

Of course, you can't have a ceremony without doing something before handing out the diplomas, that just wouldn't feel very ceremonial. Instead of speeches, though, maybe they could have some carnival acts. I would love to come to a graduation ceremony and see some acrobatics and fire tricks, maybe throw in a contortionist or two in there, as well. We could follow it up with a massive fireworks display, followed by an Evel Knievel jump over a shark pit. The valedictorian could come in through parachute, after which he/she would engage in a fight to the death with a man-sized chinchilla.

After that spectacle, the graduates could walk.

If I saw something like that, I think the first things to come out of my mouth as I'm walking out would be, "Now, THAT was one hell of a ceremony. Shame about the valedictorian, though... she had so much potential."